The easiest way to get a group of Americans to violently turn on each other and fight to the death is to ask them all what carbonated soft drinks are called
The answer, of course, is fucking soda
some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.
and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about
and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”
she meant henry david thoreau.
i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend